Tuesday, April 30, 2002

Well it's been three weeks since I last wrote in this thing... I meant to write but I'd be all I'm to tired I don't want to. But like most things when you finally sit down and get started you feel a whole lot better.
I've been on a pretty good Karmic wave here lately, the work from the showhouse, which if people actually pay will get me 1 card closer to being debt free, there's a goal to have. People have been really complementary about my work and it's actually coming from people I respect or total strangers, both equally good sources. The other day I had this woman who owns 2 poster stores in the local malls call and say she wanted to be the wholesale distributor of the bridge poster I did. But the head of the department wants to keep the operation in house. "... don't want to diminish our product" he says. Oh well I guess I could do one for this woman to carry (have to check with the legal team)
Did this shoot the other week for a friend's store. Lots of fun it was good to see I could do work that I enjoy and make good photos. Now they're talking (I don't know how seriously) about making a video to play during the stores reopening. Kind of a performance art/comercial/ happening... it'd be fun to be a part of I think. That's what I think I've been missing is the being part of something. Yeah I work for the magazine but I don't feel part of it. We don't do things together or have a shared vision or destination it's just a bunch of people making work and if it all happens to go together it's a plus.

I guess the think that would round out this little Karmic wave is a little romantic interest, well there is this girl sales who's caught my eye, but all I ever really see is her walking away or getting into the elevator. Though yesterday she did wave/acknowledge me and Jay in the parking lot, though I' sure it was just her sheilding her eyes from the glare off Jay's head (Yes that's mean on so many levels but it keeps me from being some psycho stalker). I told Joyce that I wish I was better friends with Danielle since her computer had the master employee book on it so I could find out her name. I mean that would be so much more normal than say walking up to her and going hi.


In My world it'd go something like this:
Girl is standing in the hall waiting for the elevator
I walk up and stand beside her



Me: "Going up or down?"

Her:" Huh... Oh down."

Me:"Ok...umm (long pause)...Hi I'm Ed I'm the photographer with..."

Her:[in hushed whisper]"Hold it stop right there I know where this is going and just forget about it!
Don't even ask... I'm married, I'm Gay, I'm a nun...I want nothing to do with you I didn't even want to know your name, and now that I know it that's even more information I have to forget about you. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!."

Head down looking at floor trying to think of some way to get away

Me:"Ummm..."

Her:No!don't look at me don't even acknowledge my presence and if you ever get this close to me again I'll.."

Elevator doors open

She turns and smiles to the 3 people in the elevator and enters

People stare at me while the doors close




Most people fantasize about how great the meeting will go. Me I just go for the worst and then there's no need to go through with it... easier that way. It just keeps the Courts paperwork levels down

It's not a downer it's just how I stay insane...Ed

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